Jealousy is unbecoming. I know that. But (and you know what Dr Phil says about But) don’t you think that there are occasions where it’s understandable, if not justified? Alicia has PEONIES growing in her garden. Peonies don’t grow in peoples gardens, peonies are made in heaven and fall from the clouds into the salons of rich people whose homes are being photographed for Architectural Digest.
This is my garden -

And this is after two serious dumps of rain. Usually it isn’t green. Usually it’s brown, sandy dirt with a few prickle patches (right where I stand to hang out the washing). Over the back fence, as you can see, is vacant land and railway lines. The garden shed is on a permanent lean, although the exact angle varies depending on the moisture content of the ground. Being married to a civil engineer, I can tell you that our dirt is an Expansive Clay (not e x p e n s i v e, e x p a n s i v e ) and it does weird things when wet. It either turns to soup in which a sedan can disappear to roof level , slippery slime which can have you driving on your roof in a nano-second or sticky, sticky muck that can clog the wheel hubs to the point where the wheels won’t turn. And that’s why everyone out here drives a 4WD. Big ones. With High Wheel Bases.
It also does nasty things to buildings. One Sunday night we came home from a weekend away and our front door was open. No burglars, just the house moving on the foundations so much that the door could no longer close. One of the real benefits of living in a community such as this, is that we weren’t at risk of robbery - just the house filling up with bugs. Check this baby out -
This thing is FOUR INCHES long. And that’s not even a big one. What’s really scary is that this is just the Scout - there Will Be More. Every year there is a plague of the suckers. I don’t go outside for two weeks (don’t think that I’m joking, people). I HATE THOSE THINGS. They bite and they fly and jump and make nasty clicking noises. I watched Saw and Saw 2 back to back and even that wasn’t scarier than these things. I would rather be tied to a chair and forced to watch the whole Hannibal Lecter series, in the dark and by myself than have these things around.
Well, maybe not in the dark.
And I don’t like being tied up.
Can I watch “Sean of the Dead” instead?