A number of times I’ve had conversations with people about happiness. Some have claimed that happiness is elusive, some that it is unnatural (can’t figure that one out) and some that it is even impossible. The saddest response I’ve ever had is that happiness is not even something for which we should strive. I am absolutely convinced that we choose to be happy, or not. And that the largest part of happiness is gratitude. Happiness is a direct consequence of recognizing and being consciously grateful for the good in your life. The sadnesses and tragedies of your life do not destroy the good; at the most, they just obscure it.
A long time ago I decided that every day I would mentally list the things for which I was grateful. Some days it actually takes the form of a list, other days it’s one thing at a time spread over the whole day. It becomes a habit. It becomes a viewpoint.
I’m not talking about huge things, necessarily. I’m talking about the moments when you pour the last of the milk into your coffee and it’s exactly enough (Thank you, I like milky coffee). When you get into bed and the clean sheets smell like heaven from drying in the sun that day (Thank you, that I could chuck them in an automatic washing machine instead of beating them on a rock!). It may sound like that nauseating Pollyanna, but the side effect is contentment.
We have chosen to move house a lot and sometimes we have lived in places that aren’t exactly our ideal. The most important survival skills we’ve learned are to recognise that “home” is not a place or a house, but the relationships we have with each other and our children and that everywhere we go there are good things. Right now we live in a small remote town and, quite frankly, we are square pegs in round holes. Today I am grateful that:
-that the air out here is so clean, so free of pollution, that just breathing is a pleasure.
-that I have seen the Milky Way on a moonless night with no other lights anywhere, and it was so dense with stars that it looked like a cloud.
-that the people of this community are friendly and welcoming and make it easy to be new in town.
-that the things that I miss so much about the city are (somewhat) available to me via my computer.
-that I have a husband who sings to me and makes me laugh (sometimes at the same time) and that we like each other the best.
I hope I haven’t made you retch too much. Mostly I hope you recognize some good in your day and say Thank you for it.









8 comments
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May 20, 2006 at 4:51 am
Cruxley
It’s not in style to be grateful, I guess. Better to be a whiny pseudointellectual with a superior attitude.
I like your blog and will be back.
May 20, 2006 at 5:26 am
Kelstarhttp://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A378861
May 20, 2006 at 7:13 am
Megan
I’m with you - it’s about appreciating what you have. ‘Cause almost all of us have an awful lot.
May 22, 2006 at 10:59 pm
Terry
You made me smile!
You said, “The sadnesses and tragedies of your life do not destroy the good; at the most, they just obscure it.” I would go one step further and say that the sadness and tragedy of life make the good parts even sweeter and more precious.
Cheers!
May 24, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Isabelle
Hello - have just come across your blog and really enjoy both the words and the pictures. You’re quite right about counting blessings (though it’s sometimes a bit hard) - how I agree with you that beating one’s washing on a rock wouldn’t be a good start to the morning. Hope to read more of you soon.
May 28, 2006 at 1:28 pm
autumhttp://www.creativelittledaisy.typepad.com
Hi Kirsty. I found you though Megan at Mercy Lane. You have put into words (quite beautifully) what I have long felt. I also think it is hard to be sad when you stop and consider all the good things in your life.
May 28, 2006 at 2:04 pm
The Mater
A lovely reflection.
I do think that happiness is a matter of choice, “shall I bless or shall I curse?” and our attitude towards life is what makes or breaks us. We all have to play the hand we’re dealt - how we play it is what counts.
You sound like you’re rich in love. A husband who sings to you! Quilting. The stars at night. Gratitude.
What a pleasure to read your thoughts! I’ll be back.
June 7, 2006 at 4:30 am
Anonymous
Kirsty, Knew I loved for a reason! You again have put succinctly how I feel.